Post adoption

Stories

Holding hands

Tell Them They Were Adopted

 

Written by Grant Carter, sharing his experience of being told about his adoption at a later age.

 

I was 60 years old when I found out.
I had always felt different and during a row with my mother she turned to face me and coldly said

Read the full story here.

 

Untitled

Written by Vikki.

I wrote a piece of poetry many years ago when I was in a very dark place. I wrote it as an Adoptee to my firstborn Son who was adopted out (forced adoption).

Read the poem here.

 

A Sibling’s Story

I had a phone call from my Aunt, my mother’s sister at the end of January this year. She simply stated -I have a family secret; I have to tell you now. You have an older sister. I laughed, that my mother, my very upright and uptight mother had a baby four years before me, wow.

Read the full story here.

Daughter of an Adopted Person

 

My story begins with the sudden passing of my father 27 years ago.  Knowing little about Dad’s parents and their history, I decided to ask Dad’s sisters for information about our family.  I was shocked when one sister informed me we did not belong to their family as Dad had been adopted.  She had also destroyed the adoption papers many years ago.

Read the full story here.

Journaling as Self Care

Journaling allows you to record personal experiences, thoughts and observations about daily experiences or particular emotionally charged events. You can openly express yourself privately without external judgement and gain insight into personal feelings and behaviours. Journaling is a therapeutic activity and can contribute to increased health and wellbeing over time.

For many, the experience of adoption is associated with lifelong grief, which may triggered at different times in your life.   At other times, your adoption experience may bring positive emotions, like satisfaction or joy, such as when you get important adoption related information or experience a positive reunion. Either way, journaling is well known as a self-care and coping strategy with various benefits.

Read the full story here.

Your Stories: Father's edition

Two fathers to tell us their experience with adoption. 

Their powerful stories highlight the differences in adoption experiences. They can be read in full here

Thank you to both men for allowing us to interview them and for sharing their experiences so generously. 

Recognising the impact

It has been estimated that 1 in 15 people could be affected by adoption in Australia. (Winkler, Brown, Van Keppel and Blanchard Clinical practice in Adoption 1988)

“(Adoption) was a ‘thing’ I carried with me and its importance ebbed and flowed. My strongest memories of ‘its’ importance are looking in the mirror at my hair colour, my nose, my freckles – all features that distinguished me from my ‘family’ and wondering where they had come from, who they belonged to and what it would be like to look at someone with the same features.” - Client

The impact of adoption is far reaching and our clients have asked us to share their stories below to help those on their journey to healing.

Topic: Searching

'My Search by Ken Doyle'

A search 42 years in the making. In July 1973 I was told at age 22 I was adopted.  My world fell apart. It started me on a life long journey of discovery. There has not been a single day I have not thought about my search. Wondered about my ancestry and wished for contact. Things are easier now. People have realised that adopted people have a need to know their origins and where possible to know their relatives. Nevertheless waiting takes a long time to get used to.

Read the full story here.

'Searching by Alexandra'

Searching can be frustrating, costly, time consuming and very rewarding. There is no easy way, but sometimes you get lucky.  Being born overseas and adopted in NSW my adoption file contained no information as to how or when I had arrived in Australia, and for many years I searched passenger lists with no success. Yet along the way I found many places where records can be found.

Read the full story here.

'Finding the lost part of me'

I cannot believe I have been so unfortunate and unbelievably fortunate in one lifetime.

I was 16 and believed everyone to be trustworthy. I now see I was looking to be accepted and that included older boys, much to my disappointment. The outcome was that I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl that I gave up for adoption. 

Read the full story here.

Topic: Adopted people

'Poem by an Adopted Person'

A boy is born out of his parents needs
While mother screams, pushes and pants
Her mind tormented from the pain of romance 

Knowledge of our pending doom
Is transmitted down into the womb
Her pain encumbered the bond is made
And now I live my life as a slave

Read the rest of this powerful poem here.

Topic: Adopted people

'Adoption Secrets: Does Anyone Really Care?'

From the time I found out that I was adopted, my whole world changed. I was 20 and everything I thought was truth was only a lie. I was at the local pub celebrating with friends and work mates when one of my workmates asked me out of the blue “are you adopted?” I said “no why would you think that?” and  she said that she didn’t know and left it at that.

Full Story

Topic: Birth Parents

Mother's Retreat in Queensland

Fourteen birthmothers arrived at the Tranquil Park Resort, Maleny to find that their accommodation for the three-day Mothers’ Retreat was perched on the side of one of the many undulating hills of Maleny, overlooking lush green pastures and contented brown cows in the foreground; the picturesque escarpment of the Glasshouse Mountains breaking into the scenic landscape was decorated at night by the twinkling lights of scattered towns and the city beyond.

Full Story

Topic: Adopted people

'By finding her I have found me'

"I was 5 years old when mum told me that I was different to my younger sister; that I had a different mummy and daddy. It was nearly Christmas 1979 (I believe) when mum told me that I was adopted. I remember being in the kitchen when she told me. How does a five year old react? I told her I didn't want any Christmas presents."

Full story

Topic: Adopted people

'A brother and sister reunited'

"My brother was given up for adoption in 1969. This was two years before I was born. Our mother and father were not married to each other and my father was actually married to someone else and had two sons already to his wife. Apparently, according to my father, the real love in his life was my mother but he was unable to get a divorce from his wife because she refused to grant him one."

Full story

Topic: Adoptive Parents

'The pain of an adoptive mother and father'

"My husband’s and my experience of being adoptive parents has been traumatic. We adopted our son and daughter when they were only a few weeks old, five years apart and different birth parents. My son spent his first few weeks in the hospital nursery, not ill, but just waiting for new parents. I believe he suffered from having no one to bond with at that crucial early time. My daughter was being cared for by a foster mother for a few weeks until she came to us. The Department advised us to tell our children of their adoption at a very early age, so we did – when they were learning about where babies come from."

Full story



Topic: Inter-Country adoption 

'Living your culture'

"Knowing who your parents are must be fantastic, this is something I will never know and it's really, really sad but by embracing my Indian culture I feel as though I have included my birth mother in my life. After all we may like the same food; we may go to the same movies."

Full story

Resources

View our DVDs, books and other post adoption resources

Post Adoption Resources

Events

Check out our upcoming events designed to support our post adoption clients

Post Adoption Events

Contact

NSW
Post Adoption
Resource Centre
(02) 9504 6788
Email
QLD
Post Adoption
Support Queensland
(07) 3170 4600
Email
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