Please note that the following story contains information about sexual and domestic and family violence which may cause distress. If you need immediate support, contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), a 24-hour national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line or call Lifeline 13 11 14.

At 22 days old, Suzie* was placed into adoptive care. It wasn’t until her early 20s after years experiencing abuse from her adopted family that she sought support from The Benevolent Society’s Post Adoption Resource Centre in New South Wales (PARC).

The Benevolent Society Post Adoption Services provide information and professional support services for people affected by adoption including parents, siblings, partners, and others.
Suzie’s family kept her adoption a secret and was often silenced and made to feel unwanted. After her adopted parents had two children of their own, her life got progressively worse.
“Being adopted was the big family secret. It caused major problems and I continued to be pushed aside as the other children grew up. I grew up with the feeling that I didn’t belong in the family”. 
Suzie experienced verbal abuse from her adopted mother and recalls episodes where her mother would lash out in rage. Suzie also experienced sexual abuse at a young age and was physically assaulted by her adopted brother.

“I was often told I was never wanted and it’s the reason I was put up for adoption. I had major trauma from that and spent a lot of my childhood trying to work out why my adopted family said and did the things they did – it was a very confusing time”.

From age 13, Suzie started spending time earning pocket money and at friends’ houses. At 18 years old, she attempted to move out of home however, her adopted mother made this difficult. Finally at 23, she left for good, and her journey of healing begun including participating in regular workshops and counselling sessions through PARC.

“I underwent regular counselling for over 12 months. It was really beneficial, and it helped me heal.”

Suzie also found comfort in meeting other adoptee’s and connecting with others with similar lived experiences.

“I think the only person who will ever really understand an adoptee is another adoptee. To talk with others and to be able to connect over sensitive issues has been such a healing experience”.
Suzie has always found helping people to be her main goal in life and now dedicates her time to studying psychology, in the hope her lived experiences can help others going through similar adoption journeys.

“Whether you’ve had loving adoptive families or not, there is still a level of trauma that is associated with being adopted”.

Suzie now 58, positively reflects on her life and believes that not only was she able to remove herself from the violent home she grew up in but she has been able to get the help she needed to move forward with her life thanks to PARC.

“We all have life lessons to learn and along the way I’ve learnt to love myself as I am. I am fortunate to have been able to receive ongoing services with PARC that is helping me heal to this day”.